Diary of a Widower

Daily entries by a husband, who stayed behind with his two sons

First day back at work. Sorta

MONDAY, November 23 – Exhausted after my first full day at work, not that I did a great deal. I was there. Talked to a lot of people and gave three German colleagues a tour. They didn’t know about what had happened, which was great.  My concentration was good.

Attended several meetings where I was conscious of the way people were conscious of me. Every minute or so my thoughts began to wander, or that’s the way it seemed. Attended the editorial meeting.  Came home to find two cheerful youngsters waiting for me.  It wasn’t a bad day, they reported.

We felt grateful. Eamonn gave me an exceptionally big hug before he put on his pyjamas. Sander came downstairs and said he’d called Mom’s answering machine again. Eamonn wanted to do the same, so I picked up my cell phone and called her number.  On the speaker phone.

It lasted barely ten seconds. Nothing out of the ordinary, actually quite businesslike for her. She can’t come to the phone right now, but if we leave a message, she’ll get back to us as soon as she can.

‘Maybe I’ll leave a message,’ said Sander. I think we were all hoping against hope that she would one day emerge from that lengthy meeting, or return from that business trip that had lasted far too long.

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2 thoughts on “First day back at work. Sorta

  1. Somedays I would call my wife Ann’s cell just to hear her voice. Other days I wasn’t able to hear her voice.

    I gave Ann’s phone to my daughter Hannah, who had it for a couple of years until we had to trade cell phone companies. Hannah never changed the voice mail to hers.

    Thanks for your brutally honest posts.

    No obligation to reply. I know that most days you can’t.

  2. Later on in the diary we get to this point where our au-pair gets Jenn’s phone, and we realize it’s our fault we lose her again (in some way). Ouch.

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