Diary of a Widower

Daily entries by a husband, who stayed behind with his two sons

Facts of the unbearable truth

SUNDAY, December 6 – It’s a miserable Sunday afternoon.  Sander’s away playing jazz at ‘The Bathtub’. I’ve picked up some potato chips for Eamonn which he is now devouring on the couch, absorbed in his new Garfield book. The dog seems happy enough.  The cat’s been mad at the dog for once again pinching his dinner, with just one sweep of her tongue. But, now, he’s comfortably ensconced on Eamonn’s lap. Maybe this is a good moment to go over that medical dossier.

Her last moments of consciousness:  ‘Friday 23 October 02:00.  Severe headache persists, T 36.7.  Procedure:  repeat paracetamol 1000 mg. plus tramal 50 mg.  After 3 hours,severe occipital headache persists. EMV max, lucid and oriented (in English). B / subcutaneous 5 mg morphine.  04.00 call in connection with sudden drop in EMV and immeasurable output: pulse 180, RR immeasurable, no exhalations: reanimation and intubation (initially without sedation):  during EIMIVI, anisocory, no response to light.’

All of this according to the doctor in attendance.  The surgery was to no avail…  It’s a  big pile of paper.  Shuffled in amidst all the medical terms, we – her husband and children – also make the occasional appearance.

Questions begin to arise. A great many questions. But the answer remains mercilessly  the same. She is dead.

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One thought on “Facts of the unbearable truth

  1. Medical reports are hard to read through. I found it challenging to imagine how it must have all looked. I wanted to leave a comment about your most recent post about your son and problems with separation anxiety. I too dealt with that with my own children. It is something quite challenging and can be very hard on a parent. I hope it will ease with time.

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