Playing the sympathy card
MONDAY, December 28 – Back to Amsterdam on board a packed plane. Initially only Sander and I had a boarding pass. Eamonn was on a waiting list. I was getting more and more nervous. I went up to the counter and managed to produce a few theatrical tears, purely for the effect. To make it clear what our situation was. No way was one of us going to be left behind.
We got it all sorted out, of course, but it brought home to me how easy it is to lose control – and how easy it is to play the sympathy card at crucial moments. With Sander and Eamonn beside me, I feel fatigue setting in. In fact, I’m exhausted by the emotions and the intense pain.
A sign of healing, they say. Here’s hoping.
Diary of a Widower 
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. All I can offer you is that, yes, it does get better. And the intense emotions and pain do eventually become bearable, unlikely as it may seem right now. Time truly is the best medicine. I wish you strength in the meantime.