Diary of a Widower

Daily entries by a husband, who stayed behind with his two sons

Road rage from the heart

redlightSUNDAY, January 10 – Things are starting to get out of hand, Overdiek. This week I caught myself in full pursuit of the driver of a police car on Beethoven Street. He had ignored a woman who was in  the crosswalk, while I’d stopped for her. I followed the patrol car until it entered Beatrix Park. What on Earth was I planning to do?

Only a few days later, I found myself ranting and raving at a woman who had calmly driven straight  through a red light  while it had been  green for me. She didn’t even notice since she’d been talking on  her cell phone. I shouted almost screamed at her, but of course she didn’t hear me. The dog was scared witless. My rage has begun to take on absurd proportions. Must do something about this.

This morning I decide to change my tactics. Radically.  In fact, I am switching to normal misconduct. I take a deep breath and decide to cross against the light at a leisurely pace, all the time looking around me.  Not a car in sight. It feels good, after several months of abiding by traffic regulations rigorously.

Moreover, I realize that waiting for green is no guarantee. Jennifer waited until the light turned and that cost her her life. So it feels good to return to my old self, to rely on my own common sense and innate caution. Being part of traffic, instead of fighting it.

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One thought on “Road rage from the heart

  1. I invite you to light a candle … HealGrief.org

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