Diary of a Widower

Daily entries by a husband, who stayed behind with his two sons

Four, and still only three

MONDAY, February 1, 2010 – It wasn’t really necessary, but I did it anyway. I wrote my eldest a little note and left it at his bedside. ‘Dear Sander, No matter how helpful it is that E has come to live with us, never forget that it’s still the three of us.’ He understood, and had already figured that out. But it was good to hear it coming from me.

E’s first day was heartwarming, comical, and endearing. Still, it also felt strange: suddenly there were four of us. She quickly settled in, going around barefoot, putting on her own favorite CDs, occasionally dancing to the music. Oddly enough, her voice has the same intonation as the boys.

We talked about her background, her interests, her idiosyncrasies, her preferences. She doesn’t drink, but occasionally uses marijuana and loves to party. Welcome to Amsterdam. I made it clear that that’s okay, as long as she does it all in her own time and isn’t stoned when she’s supposed to be taking care of the boys. Otherwise she can do whatever she wants to do. No need for me to hold her hand.

In any case, it’s still just the three of us.

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