Diary of a Widower

Daily entries by a husband, who stayed behind with his two sons

Where to find peace? And how?

SATURDAY, April 24 – Nervous. The boys notice. They want to know if I’m okay. Yes, I’m okay.  We take the boat out, Sander at the helm. Then a walk in the park, lying on the grass with Eamonn. It’s a Saturday that feels like summer, but I can’t seem to relax.

This morning I called my brother and begged off.  He’d emailed me that it was a good idea for us to meet. He called to pick a date, but didn’t mention whether he’d be coming alone, with his son, or with the whole family.  I was open to all options, I said, so he would have arrived in one of the above combinations.

I cancelled this morning.  He sounded relieved. I can’t blame him. Where can I find peace?  And how?  And when? Things are not good:  I am not okay.

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2 thoughts on “Where to find peace? And how?

  1. I like this – “I am not okay”. Liberating to say that sometimes, huh.

  2. Sending one virtual hug after another.

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