Be more social, widower!
WEDNESDAY, July 14 – Friend F does not mince her words. She tells me I shouldn’t isolate myself. She’s tried without success to make an appointment with me. I had finally come up with a suggestion, but at the last minute I had begged off. That’s something I’m good at: avoiding contact. People accept that. The widower needs a bit of space, so leave him in peace.
This friend understands all that, but still has something to say: That I mustn’t forget that people are constantly thinking of me. That it’s not good to cut myself off from my friends. That it’s important to stay in touch, even if it’s just a five-minute conversation. For others to hear whether things are going well, or not. That friends are always there for me, but it’s good for them to know what’s going on. A simple sign of life is enough.
She’s right. There’s something egoistical about cutting yourself off and mourning on your own. In the beginning it was a question of survival, but after almost nine months the right to crawl into my shell has more or less expired. I promise to do my best.
Diary of a Widower 
Only if you are ready. To me, you are ready when you choose to follow through on a meeting. Shells protect us until we are ready. There’s really no time limit on grief and mourning. Lecture over :>)
Patti