Diary of a Widower

Daily entries by a husband, who stayed behind with his two sons

Dealing with loss is an art

FRIDAY, September 17 – Much consternation in Dutch society about the future of the black Suzuki Swift driven by Karst T. The police museum is planning to exhibit the wreck.

No way, says the mayor of Apeldoorn, where on April 30, 2009 T. launched a failed attack on the royal family.  He himself was killed, but not before causing the death of seven people. The survivors have branded the idea lugubrious. And they’re right. Why on earth would anyone want to visit an exhibition consisting of the remains of the vehicle that broke your husband’s bones, crushed your daughter’s skull, or disemboweled your friend?

The word ‘lugubrious’ is too mild. It’s morbid exhibitionism.

A while back the boys asked me what had happened to the motorcycle that knocked their mother down. The public prosecutor told us that the vehicle had been temporarily retained as evidence in the trial of R and, after the verdict, it was returned to the Amsterdam police department. On the internet there’s still a photograph in circulation showing the motorcycle after it slid onto its side and went skidding across the pavement.

That, too, was morbid. I hope no one ever rides it again.

For a while Sander toyed with the idea of tackling it with a sledgehammer and Eamonn thought it was a good plan. Whacking the daylights out of the object that took their mother away from them. For the same reason, the Suzuki Swift ought to be turned over to the loved ones of the seven Queen’s Day victims. Call that the art of dealing with loss.

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2 thoughts on “Dealing with loss is an art

  1. I think you’re on to something! Why not have (relatively) public displays of our raw emotions over our losses? Would it make us more sensitive to the pain and needs of others? Talk about a Reality show!

  2. (Tears) streaming live 🙂

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