Diary of a Widower

Daily entries by a husband, who stayed behind with his two sons

October, the month when…

FRIDAY, October 1, 2010 – Time to be on guard. You think you’re almost there, but that moment doesn’t amount to shit. It’s October, the month when.  We can almost see the finish line. Nonsense, of course. Dangerous thinking.  So, this morning I tell myself:  it’s just an ordinary day. Like yesterday. And like tomorrow.

I’m not the only one who looked at the calendar this morning. A colleague came over to me. She wanted to know if our life is becoming more bearable now that the end of the first year is approaching.

I’m quick to reply. ‘Our life has never been unbearable. Life itself is too precious.  Of course, we’ve been through more than enough shit and we still have a long way to go. But was it unbearable? No.’

I leave her behind in dazed confusion.  Actually, things are going pretty well, I could have added; but somehow I was afraid to say the words out loud. You’ve got to stay on your guard. It’s merely October.

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