My libido? Thanks for asking
MONDAY, January 18 – Didn’t get too much sleep. I had dinner with F and it was a bit of a late evening. It was fun, nothing improper. Woke up just before six, masturbating. The sexual urges have been subdued lately. I’m not as emotionally randy as during the first month, when I often fantasized about my sex life with Jennifer.
After that, I’d been semi-impotent for a while. Titillation had no effect on me – no hard-ons, despite my best efforts. Even now the old libido hasn’t bounced back, although in my more imaginative moments I think about my return to a great sex life in the future. New partners. That alone evokes interesting prospects.
Not long ago M and I drew up a list of potential bedfellows. She was on the list herself, I told her with a grin. I’ve already spent pleasurable evenings with a number of Jenn’s girlfriends that were no more than good conversations, full of warmth. That sort of thing is bound to lead to a pleasurable session of heavy petting.
I can’t help wondering how women ‘function’ in this respect. They’re less focused on the sex itself, I’m guessing. Must admit I’m a bit out of practice when it comes to pursuit, seduction, and conquest. For the time being I’ll make do with a bit of perfunctory masturbation.
Even that isn’t always a great success, due to chronic fatigue. But after a lonely ejaculation, my yearning for the body of a woman continues to increase, and I see this as a good sign at the beginning of a new week.
Diary of a Widower 